Divided Attention and How it is Messing with Your Sanity:

During a conversation with a friend last night over dinner I came to realize that I am generally a happy person. This is not to say I do not have my bad days, but rather that my state of being generally leads toward positivity. However, last year was a particularly challenging year for me mentally and I could not figure out why. I could not pinpoint the reason as to why I felt constantly drained, super wired, disconnected, and stressed a lot of the time. I would “go, go, go” for a few weeks and then crash in a meltdown for “no reason”. At the time, I failed to recognize that I was simply dividing myself amongst too many things. I had the mentality of “If I am capableof doing something, it means I haveto do it” or, “saying no to people is not an option”.

After an incredible session with an International Intuitive Life Coach, Heather Alice Shea, mid-year 2020, I came to realize the thing hindering my ability to move forward in life, was the fact that a) I was not following my true calling in my career – but that is a story for another day, and b) I was not focused.

I recall Heather saying to me “You know, Kirsten, you are full of joy and potential which needs to be shared with the world, but you need to focus!”. The words sank in like nothing ever before. I realized that my entire life had thus far consisted of trying to do, or complete around 5-6 projects, courses, or goals at a time, all of which had vastly different areas of focus, a lot of which I never did finish.

The only way I could describe it was that I felt “divided”. However, having always been an overachiever, I knew no different. Here are some of the key elements of success that I could not connect with:

1: Things take time! Fast does not always mean better.

2: Just because I have spare time, does not mean I have to fill it with something!

3: I cannot enjoy my life if I am not present.

4: If I focus my attention on one thing or area, I am more likely to achieve it.

5: Consistency is key.

6: Do, and finish one thing at a time

Funnily enough, I could see how this reflected in my Music life as well. I would sit and try and write a song, and if I did not get it all perfectly in one sitting, I had let it go and never touch it again. I gave it no time to gestate.

I did not realize that sometimes effective silence and stillness are more beneficial to my mental sanity and ability to complete tasks effectively than rushing through the day without a wink of sleep and 10 cups of coffee.

Rushing also meant that I could not enjoy the process of creation. The feeling of dividedness is also reflected in my physical environment. I would have 20 tabs open on my browser during work, I would leave crap in my car because I was “too busy” to take it with me inside. I felt stressed and overwhelmed. As soon as I adopted the mentality of focusing on one thing at a time and intentionally creating time and space for stillness in my day, no matter what, I found that things started falling into place more smoothly, projects felt less overwhelming, and my stress levels decreased significantly.

So, next time you are feeling overwhelmed, perhaps ask yourself, “Where am I focusing my energy, and am I dividing myself into too many parts?” If you can bring awareness to the areas you should be prioritizing, give your undivided attention to them, and create space in your day as a fundamental ingredient to your mental health, you may find that the overwhelm of life could start to feel a little more normal.